Me: Roll over.
GM: The hedgehog rolls over. It’s adorable.
GM: You take a few steps away. The hedgehog remains where it is.
GM: The hedgehog heals you for 5 HP.
Me: Holy shit.
- Chocolate: Raw nuts/seeds.
- Oily/Fatty Snacks: Kale, leafy greens.
- Soda/Carbonated Drinks: Actual, literal bubbles.
- Chips/Salty Food: Topsoil.
- Cookies: Freudian psychology.
- Sweet Tea: A strong Southern gentleman to take care of you.
- Pasta/Carbs: Pasta/Carbs.
- Ice: The sweet release of death.
i like to think that hogwarts has a really strong wi-fi signal, but like the stair cases, it keeps moving around. just muggleborns, chillin on their laptops all suddenly stand up together, dash madly to a different corner of the school, and sit down wordlessly like some kind of mind hive flock of pigeons while the purebloods are just so confused
- 12-year-old girl: I don't want kids when I grow up.
- Society: You'll change your mind when you get older. You're only 12. You're too young to know what you want.
- 16-year-old girl: I'm pregnant.
- Society: How could you be so stupid? Do you know anything about safe sex? You should be ashamed.
- 20-year-old woman: I'm a single mother with an infant son.
- Society: You should've gone to college first. You need a stable career before you can support a child.
- 33-year-old woman: I'm married and my spouse and I both have stable careers. I have two young daughters now.
- Society: You're not staying home? Who's going to take care of them? You're just going to put them in day care while you work? That's selfish of you. You can't expect to raise decent kids with a full-time job.
- 45-year-old woman: I just had my first child.
- Society: Why would you have a child when you're that old? Do you realize the health risks of being pregnant at your age? When your kid is a teenager you'll be a senior citizen. That's inconsiderate of you.
- 60-year-old woman: I haven't had any children.
- Society: Your life must be so unfulfilling. Is there something wrong with you? Why didn't you want kids? How strange.